Leadership & Coaching

  • Jan 24 2019

    Don’t Let Emotion Hijack Your Argument

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    Disagreements are unavoidable, but if you keep an eye on the prize, stuff a sock in your ego, and help your rational brain overcome your emotional brain, it’s amazing how often you can get what you want.

    As I write this, we are in our fourth week of a partial government shutdown, primarily because our president and the speaker of the House can’t seem to stuff a sock in their egos and get their emotions in check.

    When we argue about something we feel passionately about, it can be hard to remain rational. The part of our brain that controls higher thinking, the prefrontal cortex, gets clubbed by the caveman part of our brain, the amygdala.

    When we feel threatened during an argument, the amygdala has a hard time differentiating an argumentative threat from the type of threat that a saber-toothed tiger may have posed. In an effort to keep us alive, the amygdala immediately sends oxygen to our extremities so we can fight or flee. This takes oxygen away from our brains and, you guessed it, away from the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that recognizes that your colleague’s argument is offensive but not life-threatening.

    Breathe into the Corners

    To win arguments, we must get our prefrontal cortex back in control. Focused breathing is a great start. I recommend “square breathing” or imagining yourself breathing into the corners of a box. First, take a deep breath and imagine all the air going into the upper left corner of a box. Hold your breath for four seconds. Then exhale slowly for four seconds as you imagine moving to the upper-right corner. Hold for four seconds. Then use another four-second inhale to move to the lower-right corner. Hold for four seconds, and exhale slowly to get to the lower-left corner. The first time you make it around the box, your heart will probably still be hammering, but a few times around the square and it’ll begin to slow down.

    Respond with Curiosity

    When someone is verbally belligerent, it’s hard not to respond defensively, but that response only confirms the expectations of the person attacking. “Yep, we’re arguing. I must respond accordingly.” If instead, you respond with curiosity, you change the dynamic. If you try to figure out what is causing the fear and/or anger, it can make the belligerent person pause.

    Find Common Ground

    That pause is an opportunity to look for common ground. In the current political situation, Republicans and Democrats are at war over a border wall. President Trump wants one; Speaker Pelosi does not. If this argument remains focused on the wall, we may never have a functioning government again.

    President Trump says he wants a border wall to safeguard Americans. Speaker Pelosi says she also wants to safeguard Americans but she doesn’t think a wall will get the job done. Leaving all the political maneuvering aside for a moment (politicians pandering to their bases), if this were really about safeguarding Americans, the government shutdown could be over in an hour. Both sides want to safeguard Americans–they have a common goal. 

    Kick Your Ego to the Curb

    Now, even with a common goal, arguments rarely just end. There are lots of ways to achieve a goal and during the course of an argument, people often become invested in winning rather than accomplishing that goal. Our egos are powerful and, like the amygdala, not the most rational parts of us. So if we want to end arguments and still accomplish the goal, we need to figure out how to create win-win solutions. If you can help your opponent score a win, you’re a lot more likely to get what you want.

    Will either of you get everything you want? Probably not. In most cases is some better than none? Definitely. Just ask all the federal employees not getting a paycheck right now. Do you think they’d be happy with a compromise, regardless of their political affiliations? I sure think so.

    So the next time you feel your heart racing in response to a verbal attack, breathe, put your ego in check, and remember why you engaged in the first place. If you keep your eye on the prize, you’re a lot more likely to walk away with a win.

  • Nov 27 2018

    The Importance of Bringing Your Values to Work

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    I’ve been thinking a lot about how organizations can make it easier for employees (and potential employees) to know whether their values align with company values.

    B Corps: A Force for Good

    I’m working on a project for B Lab, an organization that provides a rigorous certification process for companies that want to become part of the movement to make business a force for good–a movement that encourages companies to base decisions on more than just shareholder profits.  “The B Corp community works toward reduced inequality, lower levels of poverty, a healthier environment, stronger communities, and the creation of more high-quality jobs with dignity and purpose,” according to their website.

    To become a certified B Corp, companies must take a deep dive into their social and environmental impacts: Do they pay a living wage? Do they know their suppliers’ business practices? Are socially and environmentally responsible practices hardwired into company policies? Are employees evaluated on values-aligned goals? By measuring employee performance using social and environmental metrics, employees will have no question about whether their company is serious about these types of goals versus simply paying lip service to them.

    Dare to Lead

    Not long after I began my work with B Lab, I finished reading Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. Brown contends that companies should choose no more than one or two organizational values and then share them clearly and consistently companywide. She compares values to priorities, saying that if everything is a top value/priority, nothing is. By narrowing company values to a core value against which everything can be compared or measured, it simplifies decision making. It reminded me of a hospital CEO who said, “Regardless of whether we’re making decisions about bed linens or expanding services, I ask one question: Is it good for our patients? If the answer is yes, we figure out a way to do it. If it isn’t, we don’t.”

    Reassurance for CFOs

    I can almost feel some of the finance folks out there cringing with all this talk of making decisions based on non-financial considerations. To be clear, none of the B Corps I’ve worked with or companies discussed in Dare to Lead ignore the numbers. They just put other metrics alongside.

    When Values Align, Everyone Wins

    When employees’ values align with organizational values, everyone wins. It feels good to be proud of the company you work for. It feels good to lead a company with a clear moral compass. When people are allowed to remain true to their values on the job, they are more likely to feel engaged or even passionate about the work they do.

    My core value is to build connection. As defined by Brene Brown, connection is “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” Good communication is an excellent tool to build connection, but it can also be used to do the opposite. If I do my job well, I can help counteract the divisive communication that creates false boundaries between people. This feels worthy of my best efforts.

    What feels worthwhile to you? If you have to check your values at the door when you get to work, maybe it’s time to rethink your job. Here’s a list of values compiled by Brené Brown. It’s a great place to start as you define your core values and how they align with the work you do.

  • Sep 18 2018

    Getting Everyone On Board

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    How many times has a new initiative born in the executive office fizzled once it hit the ground because employees couldn’t get behind it? Sadly, this is pretty darn common. Each person is motivated by different concerns and values, and if a company doesn’t take the time to build consensus within its ranks, new initiatives can be doomed to fail. The key is recognizing that employees make decisions based on self-interest. This doesn’t make them selfish jerks; it makes them human. Think about it: how often have you made decisions intended to harm you or your family? Not too often, I’m guessing.

    Create a Culture Where Employees Can Politely Say, “WTF?”

    Before we dig into how to help people accept a new paradigm, let’s back up. Long before any new initiatives are introduced, companies first need to establish their core values and create a culture of trust. You may have heard the axiom, “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” It’s true. Creating a culture where change can take root is important. One way to do so is to foster transparency and innovation–allowing rank-and-file employees to share ideas and/or provide respectful, constructive criticism without putting their jobs at risk. Companies who invest in teaching employees how to effectively communicate differences of opinion create a culture where healthy discourse can happen. Change is often perceived as a threat, so if people know they can share their concerns openly, they are more likely to get questions answered and fears allayed.

    Ask for Feedback–Then Use It

    Let’s say you, as the CEO, have created an emotionally safe working environment where employees can say what’s on their mind. This does not guarantee they’ll like your new idea. Now you must figure out how to get buy-in, but how? Well, let’s look at why you like this new initiative. Have you had any part in creating it? Do you feel some ownership? Most likely so. People typically feel more vested when they’ve had a role in creating an initiative. Is it easy to create an initiative with dozens, hundreds or even thousands of employees? No. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely.

    Before you craft every element of the new initiative, consider asking for input. Be clear about the problem you’re solving so people can share creative solutions rather than simply polishing those already offered. If critiques hit the mark, acknowledge them, even if you don’t have a way to address the newly identified problems yet. If feedback improves the initiative, share that information. It’s not enough to ask for feedback and incorporate it. You must let people know you’ve done so.

    Pay Attention to Haters

    If you have intransigent opposition, it may be worth seeing whether it is the initiative itself or something else that’s bothering people. Are they afraid of the change? Are they actually upset about something else and using this as a surrogate? Or, is the business case for this initiative simply not as strong as you first thought?

    Having consistent internal and external messaging (i.e., telling employees the same thing you tell the public) reinforces trust. If your internal audience (employees) can’t get on board, it’s probably worth slowing down the new initiative’s implementation and public roll out. When executives get excited about something, they sometimes forget to make time for the process of creating buy-in, assuming employees will agree on the obvious merits of the new direction instantly. This is a dangerous mistake, one that can cause the initiative to fail.

    What Next? A Few Resources

    Depending on where you are in the process, here are a couple books for teaching employees how to have difficult conversations:

    If you want a facilitator to help build consensus, Heather Paulsen Consulting can help.

    If you’d like to create a culture of transparency and trust within your organization, call me. I’d love to help. It’s easier than you think.

  • Feb 20 2018

    You Don’t Have to Quit Your Day Job

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    This blog post is a little outside my usual subject matter, but I wanted to share some thoughts to inspire you to go after what you really want. Lately, I’ve been running into smart, talented people who feel stuck in jobs they hate, and this makes me sad. I know it’s hard to change careers. We all invest time and develop expertise in a field, and we get used to the money that comes with our experience. Maybe you simply need a new job in the same industry, but maybe it’s more than that. Maybe it’s time to go after your dreams, no matter how scary or seemingly impractical.

    Maybe it’s time to go after your dreams, no matter how scary or seemingly impractical.

    Many of us grew up with family members encouraging us to do what they thought was best for us, and that was rarely to take big risks. I majored in International Relations at UC Davis, and every time I talked to my grandmother while I was there, she asked, “What are you going to DO with that major?” I didn’t know. All I knew is that the classes were fascinating and I loved learning about how history and economics and political science and language/culture influenced national and international leaders, and how that affected my daily life and the lives of everyone I cared about. I didn’t end up pursuing international law, as I expected to. Instead, I fell madly in love, and after some really interesting jobs in the San Francisco Bay Area, my husband and I moved to his hometown, a small, rural city of 16,000 people, where there wasn’t much demand for international legal experts.

    I ended up following my heart and pursuing a career that allowed me to use my creativity and my passion for writing and communication. I’ve worked hard, but I recognize I’ve also benefited some lucky breaks. That’s how life is. I do believe, however, that luck favors the prepared.

    For many, the idea of starting a new venture or exposing their true passion is terrifying. I understand that, but I also challenge the idea that fear should keep you rooted where you are. Rather than dismissing the possibility of making a change, ask yourself, “What small changes could eventually lead to making a big, amazing change?”

    How much money do you really need? Who could help support you? What knowledge do you need that you don’t have? Start making a plan. Call it a daydream for now, if you must, but put it on paper. Allow yourself to dream. Imagine you’re doing this exercise for someone you love, someone you believe in, someone who deserves to be happy and to share their passion with the world. Ditch the negative self-talk for a second and DREAM. Talk to friends or loved ones who can dream with you and support you.

    If you would like help imagining a different future than the one you’re headed toward now, I recommend calling Heather Paulsen of Heather Paulsen Consulting. In addition to project management, strategic planning and helping organizations become B corps (benefit corporations), she does an AMAZING visioning session that can be used by organizations or individuals. If you know someone who would benefit from this, give it to them as a gift certificate. Seriously, Heather is incredibly talented. And, no, I do not get any financial recompense for sharing her awesomeness with the world.

    People make career changes all the time. The only way to guarantee you’ll stay in a miserable job is to accept it as your fate, to refuse to do anything to change it. I understand you might not be able to quit your day job tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps toward a new and brighter future. You get one life. Make it count.

    If you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

  • Jan 23 2018

    Paying Attention to the News

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    In public relations, it’s important to pay attention to the news as it pertains to your business. Although you don’t need to respond to the majority of news stories, when a topic gets hot, it’s worth asking yourself, “Should my organization take a position on this? Do we have policies that protect us from being swept up in the public frenzy? Can we provide leadership?”

    Take the #metoo movement, for example. Have you taken an honest look at the culture of your organization? Have you reviewed your policies with regard to sexual harassment? Do you have any employees with a reputation for inappropriate behavior, proven or not? Times are changing and if you have issues to resolve with regard to how people are treated in your organization, now is the time to address them.

    Times are changing and if you have issues to resolve with regard to how people are treated in your organization, now is the time to address them.

    If you have a culture that treats men and women equally, one that deals with sexual harassment in a fair and transparent way, one that protects those at the bottom of the corporate ladder as well as the top, the #metoo movement may be an opportunity to provide leadership and earn your brand/organization the kudos it deserves.

    As always when it comes to communication, it is critical to consider all your audiences, both internal and external. If you need to improve your organization’s culture as it relates to a high profile news topic, always start with internal communication. If necessary, bring in someone who is viewed as unbiased by leaders and rank-and-file employees to gather information and complete a thorough assessment of where your organization needs to improve. Share results, goals and how you plan to measure success with a wide cross-section of your employees.

    If you are neutral on a given issue: you have policies in place and treat folks fairly, but it isn’t a topic you care to allocate resources to, it may be worthwhile to simply send an all-staff email that reinforces your company’s position on the issue.

    If you want to take a leadership position, you can incorporate the topic into your marketing and public relations efforts in several ways. Again, using the #metoo movement as an example, you could write a press release with a statement in support of women who have suffered from sexual harassment. If your product or service helps these women in any way, highlight it. You could make a charitable donation to organizations that help victims of sexual harassment and/or assault and encourage others to follow your lead. You could offer to create a specific product or repackage a service that donates a specific percentage of proceeds to the cause. You could team up with like-minded organizations to publicize the issue–blog about it, create advertising that focuses on the issue, hold press conferences, and ask employees for ideas on how your organization can do more.

    A couple words of caution before you run head-long into a mess: first, unless you are confident that you have a spotless reputation on a given topic, be careful about holding yourself up as an example. It’s better to be neutral than to have people believe in you as their champion, only to be let down. Second, be sure you are responding to a real issue and not a tempest in a teapot. Confirm that the news story you read is from a legitimate source and only respond if it is an issue that matters to you. It’s fine to benefit from genuinely good work, but you don’t want to be that company that is constantly trying to make every issue about them.

    If you’d like help developing an effective public relations strategy, get in touch! I’d love to help you. And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

  • Jan 09 2018

    The Art and Science of Survey Writing

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    When I ask clients about the tools and methods they use to communicate, they typically share all the ways they broadcast their messages, forgetting that communication should go two ways. When I ask about the tools they use to listen, gather feedback, or measure opinions, I am sometimes met with blank stares.

    Ideally, communication is a constant give and take. Most organizations have several important stakeholders: internal ones like employees and board members, and external ones like clients and industry partners. Even if you think you have your finger on the pulse and know where these stakeholders stand, it’s wise to schedule consistent check-ins. First, this allows you to confirm you do, in fact, understand how your stakeholders feel about issues that affect your decision-making; and second, asking stakeholders for their input lets them know you value their opinions.

    Surveys can be a great way to gather information, but not all surveys are created equal. Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your survey.

    Define Clear Objectives and Keep the Survey Brief

    Effective surveys must be a balance between brevity and thoroughness. Keep your goals narrow enough that you don’t feel the need to ask dozens of questions. If you do need to ask more than a handful of questions, group them with headers, so the survey looks less intimidating.

    Share Your Intentions

    Let respondents know how you will use the information they provide. If possible, do not ask respondents to identify themselves; this will help them feel secure enough to provide honest answers.

    Include Instructions

    While it may seem obvious to you that respondents should click on the response that best describes their position, it’s best to be explicit. If you have a range from 1 to 5 representing strongly agree to strongly disagree, be sure it’s clear whether a 5 is the most positive or most negative response.

    Use Short, Concise Questions with Simple, Concrete Language

    Surveys are not the place to demonstrate your extensive vocabulary. Use the most common word to describe what you want to know. Also, avoid abbreviations, acronyms and industry jargon. Also, only ask one question at a time—avoid compound questions.

    Avoid Biases as Much as Possible

    In a courtroom, it’s poor form to lead the witness by asking questions that are clearly looking for a specific response. The same is true for surveys. Rather than asking people to agree or disagree with a leading statement, offer unbiased statements to choose between. For example, rather than asking whether the new company logo is much better at representing company values, is more attractive, and is more appealing to clients; consider offering a series of questions and allowing respondents to choose.

    • The new company logo better represents our values. OR The old company logo better represents our values.
    • The new company logo is more attractive. OR The old company logo is more attractive.
    • The new company logo is more appealing to our clients. OR The old company logo is more appealing to our clients.

    Another way to avoid bias is to replace emotionally charged words or phrases with more descriptive, non-politicized versions.

    Another way to avoid bias is to replace emotionally charged words or phrases with more descriptive, non-politicized versions. The Pew Research Center received significantly different responses when asking whether people supported “welfare” as opposed to “assistance to the poor.” They also received significantly different responses when asking whether people supported allowing doctors to help terminally ill patients “end their lives” as opposed to helping terminally ill patients “commit suicide.”

    Finally, to avoid biases, ask questions in a way that makes the truth more palatable. Rather than asking respondents how often they voted, attended church, made charitable contributions, used drugs and/or alcohol, or held racial biases; consider phrasing questions beginning with, “Did you happen to…” or “Did something prevent you from…” Softening questions or normalizing a whole range of behaviors can lead to more honest responses.

    Choose Question-type Carefully

    There are two main types of survey questions: open and closed. Open (unstructured) questions allow respondents to enter their own responses. Closed (structured) questions require respondents to choose from available options. Open questions can be harder to tally but are good for bringing in new ideas. However, they require respondents to work harder, sometimes leading to lower response rates.

    Closed questions are easier to tally, and if available options represent the most likely responses, the survey can be very useful. For closed questions, be sure each option is unique (make sure there’s no overlap like 1-10 hours, 10-20 hours; instead use 1-10 hours, 11-20 hours.). Keep options consistent (use the same measure or type of response). And include all possible answers as options (consider including “other” as an option so the list doesn’t limit respondents to inaccurate responses).

    Survey Types

    These days, surveys are easy to create and distribute online. Survey Monkey is a popular option. Social media platforms like Facebook also have survey tools. You can also call clients after providing service and ask a few basic questions or include a paper survey as part of follow-up correspondence.

    Whether you use a survey or some other method to gather feedback, it’s important to reach out and ask stakeholders how they think you’re doing and where they think you should go. You might be surprised at what you find.

    If you’d like help writing an effective survey, get in touch! I’d love to help you. And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

  • Nov 28 2017

    How to Thank Your Clients So They Keep Coming Back

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    Sometimes we miss the easy things. In our mad dash to find new customers, we forget to appreciate the ones we have. When I’m working with new clients who want to grow their businesses, one of the first exercises I do is to make concentric circles of all the people they should communicate with on a regular basis. Think of this as the dartboard of communication, with a big, red bullseye in the middle.

    Oddly enough, the two groups who belong in the bullseye often get left out when I ask, “Who are your target audiences?”

    Those two groups are employees and existing customers.

    With employees, it is essential to reinforce organizational goals, so people understand how their work contributes to the organization’s overall success. It is also important to share accomplishments, so people know they’re part of a successful endeavor. Most employees are already invested in the organization. By sharing good news, you’ll engender a sense of pride and cohesion; everyone from janitors to managers will have the information and inclination to promote the organization.

    There are two groups in that bullseye: employees and existing customers. Oddly enough, these two groups often get left out when I ask, “Who are your target audiences?”

    As for existing customers, while they may not have as much invested as employees, they’ve chosen your product or service over others, and if you treat them right, they’re likely to do so again. Demonstrating your appreciation for customers can result in their loyalty and the most powerful marketing in the world: referrals from a trusted source.

    SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION

    How can you let your customers know you appreciate them? Lots of ways–you are only limited by your creativity (and budget). How you show appreciation varies on your particular type of business or service, but the very best way to build customer loyalty is to provide amazing service.

    Once you’ve implemented gold-star service, here are some additional ways to show your appreciation.

    1. Ask for feedback about your product and/or service–and use it! Then, let all your customers know you made changes based on customer feedback.
    2. Reward referrals.
    3. Create a loyalty program that offers special offers and/or discounts.
    4. Based on a customer’s purchase, recommend other useful products or services. With permission, refer them to trusted partners.
    5. Teach your customers something interesting, especially if it helps them appreciate your product or service even more. Offer free webinars and/or invite experts to present topics of interest.
    6. Refer business to your customers.
    7. Send a small, unexpected gift every now and then.

    If you do nothing else, just be sure to keep in touch with your customers periodically. Of course, it goes without saying that you should always respect customers’ communication preferences; if they say, “Don’t communicate with me,” leave them alone.

    Demonstrating your appreciation for customers can result in their loyalty and the most powerful marketing in the world: referrals from a trusted source.

    In addition to earning repeat business and referrals, working with current customers can tell you a lot about where you can find new customers. Returning to that dartboard of communication, the concentric circle just outside the bullseye includes potential customers who share many traits with your existing customers. If you have a clear sense of how you meet your current customers’ needs, you can use that information to attract new customers. The more you focus on how you help your customers do what they want to do or be who they want to be, the more your customers will keep coming back.

    If you’d like assistance in figuring out who to communicate with and how to formulate effective messages, get in touch! I’d love to help you. And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

  • Nov 14 2017

    The Magical Power of Thank You Notes in the Workplace

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    What if you could spend just ten minutes a day on an activity that was guaranteed to lift your mood, as well as improve the mood, productivity, and loyalty of those you work with? Probably worth it, right?

    When I was the communications director at a hospital, the hospital had a contract with the Studer Group, an organization that helps healthcare organizations continually improve, clinically and financially. One of the Studer Group’s many directives required executives and directors to send thank you notes to workmates and employees—not once in a while to recognize exceptional behavior, but weekly or even daily to let people know how much we appreciated both the big things and the little things they did.

    My boss provided grids so we could record how often we sent thank you notes and to whom. I felt like Big Brother was watching me and, honestly, I was a little resentful that I had to report my thank you note completion rate to the CEO. But, since I wanted to remain employed, I got with the program. I bought personalized thank you cards and started to look for people who needed thanking.

    And that’s when the magic started.

    I am naturally a positive and optimistic person. I tend to see the good in people and I can usually find a silver lining in the darkest of clouds, but I did not anticipate the effect of writing regular thank you notes. My outlook got even brighter and my relationships improved, too. Those thank you notes I sent to others were like little boosters for my positivity.

    On days when my thank you grid was a little sparse, I began looking for someone to thank, so I’d pay attention to the smallest act of kindness or extra work. These were the times I noticed how dedicated and thoughtful so many of the hospital employees were. I never had trouble finding reasons to thank people. And when I sent them a thank you note, they were often so surprised that someone noticed or cared about those little acts, that they made a point of mentioning how grateful they were to receive my note. These notes created a neverending loop of good feelings.

    How to Write a Heartfelt Thank You Note, Even if you Don’t Like to Get Mushy

    I understand that for some, the idea of writing a thank you note is about as appealing as a colonoscopy. People don’t know where to begin or what to say.

    So first, let’s focus on who deserves your appreciation and then we’ll figure out how you can show it to them.

    Beginning with your workplace, are there any people who make your daily experience a little better? A secretary who greets you with a smile every time you walk in the door, a colleague who supports you when you’ve taken on too much, an employee who volunteers for extra projects, a boss who is patient when you have another “amazing” idea? To send a thank you note, we don’t have to find people who have solved world hunger or cleansed the Earth of all pollution (though, I’d send them a thank you note, too). We’re just looking for people who make your life a little better. If you’re responsible for managing employees, look for the traits you most want to encourage. Who are your most dependable, creative, considerate employees? Let’s reinforce the behaviors you most appreciate.

    Those thank you notes I sent to others were like little boosters for my positivity.

    Now, how do you express that appreciation?

    As you may have gathered, not all thank you notes are created equal. To get the full benefits of writing thank you notes, you have to say more than, “Thanks for everything!” Because, really, that’s almost the same as writing, “Thanks for doing something that wasn’t memorable enough for me to remember or mention,” or its kissing cousin, “I know I should send a thank you but I don’t know what to say.”

    A well-written thank you note should be timely, specific and heartfelt. And if you’re writing a thank you note based on information from someone else (a mutual friend, colleague or acquaintance), mention them in the note. It’s best if the thank you note is handwritten on a card and mailed, but if that stops you from writing or sending it, use your keyboard and send it via email.

    The anatomy of a thank you is as follows:

    1. Start with the expression of gratitude. “Thank you for…” “I really appreciated it when…” “I am so grateful for…”
    2. Name the action or gift you appreciate and if appropriate, why that action is important. “Thank you for filling in on late notice.” “I really appreciated it when you took the time to review our annual report before we sent it to the printer. I can’t believe we misspelled our company name!” “I am so grateful for your can-do approach. This is how we push ourselves to reach new heights.”
    3. Include a closing statement restating your appreciation.

    Here are some examples:

    Dear Pat, 
    Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your dedication and thoughtfulness. Julie told me about how you helped her finish her project, even though it meant staying late Monday night. Your actions just reinforce the high opinion I already had of you. Thanks, again.

    Dear Javier,
    Thanks for volunteering at the health fair this weekend. I know there are a lot of other ways you could have spent your time. I thought you should know your willingness to step up time and again doesn’t go unnoticed. Keep up the good work. I appreciate all you do for our organization.

    You get the idea. These don’t need to be lengthy or mushy, but they should be specific and impart genuine emotion. Also, it’s important to send them in a timely manner.

    If you want help with this or any other communication tools, let me know! And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

  • Oct 30 2017

    Commit to Something–Change Will Follow

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    Many of us are fascinated by stories of people who came back from terrible injuries to accomplish incredible physical feats or who lost more than 100 pounds and kept the weight off. How do they do that?!

    During the month of October, I’ve focused on the theme of transformation, looking at how sustainable change takes hold. People are motivated by different things, but it seems clear that a big part of lasting change is simply making a firm commitment to take that first step, however small.

    The magazine Psychology Today printed an article called The 10 Rules of Change, and the first rule was to break down complex behaviors into their component parts and tackle them one at a time.

    When I think about the effort and discipline required to get into a new routine, it’s easy for me to come up with excuses if the new routine is a dramatic departure from what I’m currently doing, but if I choose small changes, those excuses are harder to justify.

    When I think about the effort and discipline required to get into a new routine, it’s easy for me to come up with excuses if the new routine is a dramatic departure from what I’m currently doing, but if I choose small changes, those excuses are harder to justify.

    Want to improve your diet? Rather than trying to go from a burger-and-fries connoisseur to a vegan purist overnight, consider adding a vegetable to each meal for a while. Then, maybe, you can learn to cook a vegetarian dish that is tasty enough to make you forget you’re missing the meat.

    Want to find a little more peace and balance? Rather than signing up for a three-month yoga retreat, try meditating for five minutes a day. Seriously, five minutes can make a difference. Five minutes may become ten, which may become twenty, but start with five.

    Breaking down your big goals into steps so small you KNOW you can accomplish them will help you make progress. Progress is intoxicating.

    Breaking down your big goals into steps so small you KNOW you can accomplish them will help you make progress. Progress is intoxicating.

    And remember, it’s okay if you don’t achieve every goal exactly as planned; even the small ones can get away from us sometimes. The key is to stay committed. Write your big goal somewhere visible (a Post-It note on your computer monitor?) as a reminder.

    What are your big goals? What one action could you take today toward achieving those goals? If one of your goals is to improve communication in your organization, let me know! And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

  • Oct 10 2017

    Want to Make Real Progress? Build on Your Strengths.

    By

    Many successful people continually strive to improve. They ask themselves (and others), “What can I do better? How can I get stronger? What’s the best way to out-perform my opponents? How can I achieve more?”

    These are useful questions to be sure, but too often the answers focus on improving weaknesses rather than capitalizing on strengths. If you’re an extrovert, you’re going to have a hard time enjoying uninterrupted quiet time more than your introverted colleagues. If you’re a big-picture person, you probably won’t become the most detail-oriented person in your company. Or as one of my more creative friends suggested, “You don’t want to race a goat up a mountain if you’re a fish.”

    “You don’t want to race a goat up a mountain if you’re a fish.”

    Recent studies confirm what common sense has always suggested: we make more progress in less time when we utilize our strengths. I’m not suggesting you should stop trying to improve in areas where you struggle, but consider focusing the majority of your time on using your strengths to their best effects.

    Once people hit their 30s, they often have a sense of what they’re good at, but if you’d like a more formal process, you can use assessments like the Gallup Strengths Finder or the Myers Briggs evaluation (a quick version of the Myers Briggs test can be found at 16personalities.com). My friend and colleague Marc Carson administers personality-based assessments using the Majors PTi exam.

    Having gone through Marc’s process, I definitely have more insight into why certain functions are easy or hard for me, and I realize that some of the skills I’ve always taken for granted are not necessarily easy for everyone. The process also helped me understand how other personality types approach certain types of challenges. The more I learn, the more I can help my clients (especially when we’re dealing with crisis communication).

    In the book Good to Great, author Jim Collins suggests that the primary reason some companies surpass others to become great is their decision to narrowly focus their resources on their field of key competence. I think the same is true for humans. I have a finite amount of time and energy.  I don’t want to divide my time so that I get a little better at everything. I’d rather use that same energy to get a LOT better at one or two key skills that take advantage of my natural talents.

    At some organizations, leadership teams post their core strengths on their office doors so colleagues coming to meet with them can frame discussions in a way they will best understand. Some people want you to cut to the chase immediately, and provide background information as needed in response to their questions. Others like to understand the big picture first, so they can see where your information fits into the strategic direction of the company.

    Knowing yourself and your audience will help you use your talents and communicate with others more effectively.

    Knowing yourself and your audience will help you use your talents and communicate with others more effectively.

    If you need help communicating with others, let me know. I’d love to use my strengths to bolster yours.

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